My anxiety about flying begins about four days ahead of my flight. I feel sorry for Hailey because she has to put up with it. It’s not fun for me, for her, for anyone that has flown with me.

I worry about making it to the airport early enough to get through security and to the gate on time. That’s my first big, nerve-wracking, anxiety-inducing fear. I’ve gotten a little better over the years, but not much. For my next flight, which is occurring soon and leaves at 6:05am , I plan on getting to our parking lot (my next big fear) around 3:45am, hopefully to the airport by 4:15am. That’s enough time to get through security for sure. I’ve never been stuck in a security line longer than 30 minutes. Never at LAX, JFK, LaGuardia, nowhere. And yet, I’m still nervous.

It’s been so bad before that we’ve slept in airports to help alleviate these fears.


Here is Hailey, asleep at LAX two years ago. It’s about 2am in this picture. We are there for a 6:30am flight.

I have a problem.

It’s very expensive to park at LAX so we park elsewhere. I’d love to ask friends for rides, but the idea of begging to get chaperoned at 3:45am makes me feel guilty. So we book a cheap place to park. And the cheaper the place, the sketchier it is. The worst part are the shuttles. I don’t care about the quality. They could drag me on a skateboard for all I care. I want these things to run on time and run often. But the cheaper places don’t agree.


Does it drive? Cool, I’ll take it!

One place we parked advertised 24-hour shuttles but when we arrived, we were told they didn’t start until 4:30am. We were there at 4am. Our flight at 6:15am. I CAN’T LEAVE THE LOT AT 4:30am! THAT ONLY GIVES US MAYBE 90 MINUTES TO GET THROUGH SECURITY!

I have a problem.

I worry about connecting times. I wish we could afford direct flights because connecting causes me so much anxiety. I often seem to be on flights that only have 45 minutes to connect. And I freak out. I get sweaty before landing. I feel sick. And I know, I serious know, that tens of thousands of people do this day in and day out. Airlines plan for these things. Flights have built in padding, too. I’d say 90% of the flights I’ve taken land early. I’ll check flightaware.com to see the history of these flights. Have they been on time in the last two weeks? Late? Early?

I have a problem.

The worst part about all of this is that I’ve had relatively great flight experiences my entire life (KNOCK ON THE BIGGEST AND BEST PIECE OF WOOD EVER.) I’ve almost missed a flight once due to weather and did miss a flight once due to a Continental pilot being sick and a backup having to come in. That experience was made worse when I landed in Philadelphia at 10am and was told our new flights had automatically been booked. My connecting flight to OKC was now at 2:45pm… the next day. Let’s just say I freaked out a little.

Just kidding, I lost my shit pretty hardcore. It was hilarious.

Well, off to look at today’s flights and see if they were on time! I hate myself!


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