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Pathetic Memory Mondays is a weekly-ish feature where I delve into my past to discuss a rather pathetic and sad memory. It’s hilarious now, unlike when the memory took place. It was very sad then.

This one is really sad. Like not even, “oh, that’s so sweet, you poor, pathetic bastard.” Like, “Oh, you are a poor, pathetic bastard.”

10th grade. High school band trip to Phoenix, Arizona. Biggest school trip I’ve ever been on. This constituted pure excitement. “HOLY SHIT, PHOENIX, Y’ALL!” We were gonna stay up late and party and eat food and watch TV. We were going to live!

Things use to be much more exciting back then. Now, if I am going to Phoenix, it’s, “Okay, let’s figure out where the gas stations are to maximize the amount of miles we get per tank. Also, I will have to use the restroom but I’ve predicted the urge to go to come at a time before we get to the gas station I determined we could reach on the first tank of gas. Can I hold it?”

Nonetheless, we jumped onto the bus excitedly, ready for the 8-hour trip which turned into a 16-hour trip because of a snow storm sweeping that part of the nation. But it didn’t matter. I was on the bus with Katie, a girl I had a huge crush on. I’m sorry, I mean everyone had a huge crush on.

And here’s where it gets pathetic. I’m sorry, everyone.

Lifehouse’s debut album, “No Name Face” had came out recently and everyone was “Hanging By a Moment” all the time. (No Name Face? What the fuck does that mean?) I hadn’t purchased it, though. I was borrowing someone’s copy. And I wasn’t listening to the hits. I was listening to the last track, “Everything.”

I kid you not, out of everything I’ve written about me, this is the thing I’m most embarrassed by: I listened to that song for most of the trip, staring at the back of Katie’s head. I borrowed a friend’s CD for nearly 16 hours and listened to that six minute song over and over and over. I fell asleep listening to it, woke up the next morning, and started it again, still looking at her. Even hearing the song, I remember the beautiful, snow covered lands of New Mexico and Arizona, the sun rising, the smell of fresh, desert air, and the back of her head.

That’s all I got for this one. I’m ashamed of myself.

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