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Hours after being told the show I work on, YouTube Nation, wasn’t getting renewed, it hit me how much I admired the speed in which we were told. The meeting literally started with the news. No dancing around, no prefacing it. Just, “Sad news, we aren’t getting renewed.”

Mom always said to just rip the band-aid off and the pain would be better. Mom is always right, I guess.

I don’t really want to write about this because it feels dumb and cliched and pointless. But it’s how I cope. It’s part four of the Mark Potts Life-Ballsack-Punch Coping System.

Part One: Making jokes and screwing around. Did that for a solid six hours yesterday. Here is me playing ping pong and taps at the same time (by the way, if you know a job that requires these skills, please, please, please let me know.)

Shot by Josh Zimmerman who demanded I credit him.

Part Two: “Oh God, Oh God, Oh God, what now?” This step is usually filled with self-deprecation and sitting in front of a television that isn’t on, mentally compartmentalizing bills and other expenses and figuring out how shitty life could get and how fast.

Part Three: Hailey. She calms me down. Says the things I need to hear. She keeps me above water.

Part Four: Reflect. I always get to work early, usually around 7:15am. That gives me about two hours alone to do whatever I want. It’s usually listen to music, edit HeckBender videos, or watch television shows I missed. I spent some time walking around the office this morning looking at everything and wondering what I could take.

The Keurig K-Cups could probably be taken, right? I don’t know if we take inventory of those…

There’s a YouTube pillow I sorta want just so I can see Gizmo stain it while chewing his bone on it. Just kidding LOL LAWLZ whatever.

The ping pong table would be nice, but I can’t really fit it on my bike.

But there’s something I can take: memories (AH CHECK OUT THAT SEGWAY FROM JOKES TO EMOTIONS. By the way, if you know a job that requires these skills, please, please, please let me know.)

I’ve been here a little over 14 months and I never regretted leaving my former job once. This has been my favorite job and my favorite place to work. Creatively challenging and rewarding each day. Working with people that I very much like and hopefully, formed friendships with that last after these doors close. I lied during my interview, telling my would-be-boss I knew how to use Adobe Premiere. After I got the job, I bought one of those $70 books about how to use the program and sort of read it. But I learned how to use it and I think, use it really well.

I knew the risk taking this job, and I’d do it again.

It’s probably bad to get personally invested in a job, but you could say that about anything. Because everything ends at some point: jobs, love, life, Parks and Recreation in February. But I can’t not get personally invested in most things I do, and that’s why I’ll experience a lot of sadness and loss in my life. But without that investment, I wouldn’t experience the utter joy and happiness as well. And this job has given me much, much more of the positive than the negative.

I greatly appreciate the opportunity to work on this show, with these people, and make a lot of awesome things. I don’t know where things go from here, but we’re fools if we ever think we know where things are going.

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